L is for Love, Love, Love

First of all, I would like to say that I'm sorry to all my followers that I haven't been writing. There has been a lot in my personal life that has been going on.

Now that I've hopefully grovelled enough, I can now write this entry. I figured that it was so close to Valentine's Day, that I would write about love.

There are so many forms of love.

I guess I really didn't understand that when I was growing up. I didn't know what love was. My family didn't really know how to show me that, as they were to busy to fight amongst themselves.

There is my love for food. Mostly chocolate, but these days with watching my diet (sure, right, as I sit here eating Dorito's and having a soda - ah every once in a while is not a bad thing right). See, there, that is exactly what I am talking about. You can love your cheating ways with food, but then you may have to pay for it later. You can love really good cooking. I know there was nothing like my grandmother's brownies. She probably made them from a box, but I was so young, I wouldn't know any better.

There is my love for music. I love music and how it makes me feel. Even with the no good MP4 player I just got, even for the brief moment that it was working, note to self, get an iPod!

There are my first loves, where I thought that love and lust were the same. Little by little did I figure out that I had to learn to love myself. That is a trick to learn. I never realized how much of that was true. To this day, I sometimes hear those demons inside my head telling me how I'm no good, or whatever. But I can now go above that. I was so screwed up with so many different men. I thought that by having sex with some random guy was going to make them love me. I think they call that the Cinderella Complex. Let me tell you, it took me a long time to figure out that wasn't the right thing.

Then I did meet a good man. I learned about the love of family and friends. I have learned a lot about loving my son. He has taught me so much in so little time.

I think that once you become a mother, it becomes an instinct like no other.

They can give the mother of the new octuplets as much flack as they want to. I hope that she has the strength to teach them what she can about love. Because that is what is all about gang.

Love.